Big Scientists is a Half-Life mod.
It’s a mod that has giant scientists in it. Well, there has to be more to it
than that, right? Seriously though, I’m gonna make a sort of announcement here.
Due to the popularity of silly, stupid, and outright ridiculous Half-Life and
Half-Life 2 mods across the internet, iam going to cover them here on Modzone.
Though, I’m not gonna cover them the traditional way. As in, the way I usually
review mods. You’ll see what I’m talking about once we get into the main
review. Off we go!
Our story starts out with alternate
universe Gordon Freeman, who instead of having a Ph.D. in theoretical physics, he
has a Ph.D. in Big Scientists. He also has a BSc. in Large Things. This Gordon’s
list of achievements doesn’t stop there, as he has “The Montgomery Burns award
for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence”. Him and a team of
scientists are being assigned to the top secret government facility known as “Big
Scientist Laboratory” in the Nevada desert. Worry not though, if disaster
happens to strike and the situation goes F.U.B.A.R, Gordon has the response priority
to KILL ALL BIG SCIENTISTS. As Freeman
and his team of useless labcoats fly across the cliffs with a HECU escort, out
the window of the transport, a gigantic scientist is spotted across the way,
and does something to damage the aircraft, causing the regular scientists accompanying
Freeman to lose their shit and scream like the damned. It then cuts to black as
Gordon briefly wakes up inside a building with a gaping hole to the outside
world. There Freeman sees another huge scientist, roaring and flailing around
like an inflatable tube man. A security guard and a couple of HECU soldiers
fire on the giant labcoat, but it doesn’t seem to work. Freeman then passes
out again, and wakes up in another room with blaring alarms. After spotting a
very aroused stereo set, Gordon is directed by a normal scientist , who spouts stock
Half-Life lines before being crushed by a huge piece of the ceiling. Freeman
goes into the room the scientist was headed, and picks up an HEV Suit before
climbing up a ladder to the surface. There Freeman encounters HECU soldiers,
and an elephant sized scientist who is promptly shot by the soldiers and
killed. Gordon then goes into the building the scientist came from and
encounters lots of cockroach sized scientists. After crawling through an air
duct, and meeting more soldiers, another pachyderm sized scientist busts into
the building, and is slain. Freeman then goes into a control room that is
overlooking another room with a strange device. Upon pushing a button on one of
the control consoles, a scientist inside the room with the strange device grows
to T-Rex size, and promptly freaks the fuck out. The mod then spawns soldiers
who drop out of the ceiling to make the giant scientist pay for the heinous
crime of being way too fucking tall. Gordon joins them in the slaughter. After
the dinosaur sized scientist is toast, Gordon exits the area via a convenient
hole in the wall via off-screen grenade blast. Gordon then picks up more heavy
ordinance before riding on a rather short rail system. Going through another
door and up another elevator, Freeman encounters a regular sized scientist who
spews stock Half-Life: Opposing Force lines.
Then Gordon encounters the biggest scientist yet, this one Kaiju sized. Though, since Godzilla, Gamera, and Ultraman are unavailable, the HECU and Gordon decide to bomb and shoot the ever living fuck out of the scientist. After murdering the enormous freak of nature, an HECU soldier next to the exit of the dam gives more stock Half-Life: Opposing Force lines, basically telling Gordon that the HECU is getting the fuck out of the area, for no real reason. Regardless, Freeman continues onward, getting told by a regular sized scientist to deal with a “Gargantua” on the landing pad. Said “Gargantua” is nothing more than another T-Rex sized scientist, who is killed by Gordon and more soldiers. Descending down further into the building, Freeman does such things as administer coolant to the Lambda Reactor Core with the press of a simple button, for some reason. Then Gordon stumbles upon a scene ripped straight from the original Half-Life. Following this, Freeman encounters a surreal room with four windows that each reveal a G-Man conversing with a regular sized scientist. Seems the G-Man learned to clone himself. Anyway, Freeman then enters a room that is opened for him by two scientists that looks very similar to the room with the large device that made that one scientist grow to dinosaur size. Being the stoic badass he is, Gordon enters the room with no qualms. However, after the machine apparently malfunctions, Freeman passes out. Waking up sometime later, it’s revealed that Gordon has grown to Kaiju size, and escapes the building via a giant hole in the wall. Abandoning his previous moral compass and all compassion, Gordon then goes on a rampage, squashing all the tiny HECU soldiers that are outside. Finding a giant crowbar, Freeman continues his path of destruction, trekking across the Nevada desert, until he comes across a worthy foe. That foe being another Kaiju sized scientist in the middle of a canyon. Gordon challenges the scientist to a brawl, and the useless giant labcoat just stands there, as Freeman beats the fucking hell out of him with his giant crowbar, with support fire from an HECU helicopter nearby. The huge scientist falls, and the mod ends with a screen congratulating Freeman on being “Frickin Huge”. Gordon Freeman then goes on to terrorize the countryside, and possibly having fights with other giant Kaiju with nothing but his wits and trusty giant crowbar to help him.
Then Gordon encounters the biggest scientist yet, this one Kaiju sized. Though, since Godzilla, Gamera, and Ultraman are unavailable, the HECU and Gordon decide to bomb and shoot the ever living fuck out of the scientist. After murdering the enormous freak of nature, an HECU soldier next to the exit of the dam gives more stock Half-Life: Opposing Force lines, basically telling Gordon that the HECU is getting the fuck out of the area, for no real reason. Regardless, Freeman continues onward, getting told by a regular sized scientist to deal with a “Gargantua” on the landing pad. Said “Gargantua” is nothing more than another T-Rex sized scientist, who is killed by Gordon and more soldiers. Descending down further into the building, Freeman does such things as administer coolant to the Lambda Reactor Core with the press of a simple button, for some reason. Then Gordon stumbles upon a scene ripped straight from the original Half-Life. Following this, Freeman encounters a surreal room with four windows that each reveal a G-Man conversing with a regular sized scientist. Seems the G-Man learned to clone himself. Anyway, Freeman then enters a room that is opened for him by two scientists that looks very similar to the room with the large device that made that one scientist grow to dinosaur size. Being the stoic badass he is, Gordon enters the room with no qualms. However, after the machine apparently malfunctions, Freeman passes out. Waking up sometime later, it’s revealed that Gordon has grown to Kaiju size, and escapes the building via a giant hole in the wall. Abandoning his previous moral compass and all compassion, Gordon then goes on a rampage, squashing all the tiny HECU soldiers that are outside. Finding a giant crowbar, Freeman continues his path of destruction, trekking across the Nevada desert, until he comes across a worthy foe. That foe being another Kaiju sized scientist in the middle of a canyon. Gordon challenges the scientist to a brawl, and the useless giant labcoat just stands there, as Freeman beats the fucking hell out of him with his giant crowbar, with support fire from an HECU helicopter nearby. The huge scientist falls, and the mod ends with a screen congratulating Freeman on being “Frickin Huge”. Gordon Freeman then goes on to terrorize the countryside, and possibly having fights with other giant Kaiju with nothing but his wits and trusty giant crowbar to help him.
So yeah, Big Scientists is nothing
but a joke mod. Not only that, but it’s a mod with only ONE joke. Some of the
scientists are big, sometimes giant even. Still though, it was fun to play. The
story is nonsensical, and while I said it was fun, it did feel a little TOO
minimalist. In my opinion, if you have a concept that you think is worthy enough
of making a mod with, run all the way with it. Really put effort into it and
show you care. Gameplay wise, the mod did feel a little bland. Basically the
entire damn thing you just stand there and shoot at giant scientists, with them
not even trying to fight back because, well, they’re scientists. Not only that,
but killing the scientists is a bit tricky, since the developer did increase
their size, but not their hitboxes. This means you have to aim for their
feet/lower legs if you even want to think about damaging them. The available
arsenal is minimal to say the least, and the general length of this mod is
pitifully short. Overall, Big Scientists is a mod where you might get a little chuckle
at the very most, and while it does have little effort put into it, you have
to at least say it’s the only mod where you can shoot an elephant-sized
scientist in the balls.
And with that, Big Scientists gets
2 Kaiju-sized scientists out of 5. Thank you all for reading, I’ve been
Killbuster, and remember, if you ever plan on becoming Kaiju sized and
terrorizing the world, make sure to stop off in Japan. I hear Godzilla needs a roommate.
Here is a link to this mod’s ModDB
page, so you too can have the chance to slaughter giant scientists as they
innocently scream in terror and flail about.
Don’t forget to post a comment on
this webzone, share this page and follow me on Google+ and Twitter https://twitter.com/Killbuster37 for more reviews
of Goldsrc and Sourcemods here on Modzone! Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go.
Gamera wants me over for tea in like 15 minutes.
Oh and I almost forgot, if you want
to contact me, or play games, or just whatever here’s a link to my Steam account.
If I don’t answer your friend request right away, don’t worry. Blinky will get
to it, as soon as he stops using my cupboards as a cave anyway.
https://steamcommunity.com/id/3432401
https://steamcommunity.com/id/3432401