Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Big Scientists (Half-Life Mod)

Big Scientists is a Half-Life mod. It’s a mod that has giant scientists in it. Well, there has to be more to it than that, right? Seriously though, I’m gonna make a sort of announcement here. Due to the popularity of silly, stupid, and outright ridiculous Half-Life and Half-Life 2 mods across the internet, iam going to cover them here on Modzone. Though, I’m not gonna cover them the traditional way. As in, the way I usually review mods. You’ll see what I’m talking about once we get into the main review. Off we go!


Our story starts out with alternate universe Gordon Freeman, who instead of having a Ph.D. in theoretical physics, he has a Ph.D. in Big Scientists. He also has a BSc. in Large Things. This Gordon’s list of achievements doesn’t stop there, as he has “The Montgomery Burns award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence”. Him and a team of scientists are being assigned to the top secret government facility known as “Big Scientist Laboratory” in the Nevada desert. Worry not though, if disaster happens to strike and the situation goes F.U.B.A.R, Gordon has the response priority to KILL ALL BIG SCIENTISTS.  As Freeman and his team of useless labcoats fly across the cliffs with a HECU escort, out the window of the transport, a gigantic scientist is spotted across the way, and does something to damage the aircraft, causing the regular scientists accompanying Freeman to lose their shit and scream like the damned. It then cuts to black as Gordon briefly wakes up inside a building with a gaping hole to the outside world. There Freeman sees another huge scientist, roaring and flailing around like an inflatable tube man. A security guard and a couple of HECU soldiers fire on the giant labcoat, but it doesn’t seem to work. Freeman then passes out again, and wakes up in another room with blaring alarms. After spotting a very aroused stereo set, Gordon is directed by a normal scientist , who spouts stock Half-Life lines before being crushed by a huge piece of the ceiling. Freeman goes into the room the scientist was headed, and picks up an HEV Suit before climbing up a ladder to the surface. There Freeman encounters HECU soldiers, and an elephant sized scientist who is promptly shot by the soldiers and killed. Gordon then goes into the building the scientist came from and encounters lots of cockroach sized scientists. After crawling through an air duct, and meeting more soldiers, another pachyderm sized scientist busts into the building, and is slain. Freeman then goes into a control room that is overlooking another room with a strange device. Upon pushing a button on one of the control consoles, a scientist inside the room with the strange device grows to T-Rex size, and promptly freaks the fuck out. The mod then spawns soldiers who drop out of the ceiling to make the giant scientist pay for the heinous crime of being way too fucking tall. Gordon joins them in the slaughter. After the dinosaur sized scientist is toast, Gordon exits the area via a convenient hole in the wall via off-screen grenade blast. Gordon then picks up more heavy ordinance before riding on a rather short rail system. Going through another door and up another elevator, Freeman encounters a regular sized scientist who spews stock Half-Life: Opposing Force lines.

 Then Gordon encounters the biggest scientist yet, this one Kaiju sized. Though, since Godzilla, Gamera, and Ultraman are unavailable, the HECU and Gordon decide to bomb and shoot the ever living fuck out of the scientist. After murdering the enormous freak of nature, an HECU soldier next to the exit of the dam gives more stock Half-Life: Opposing Force lines, basically telling Gordon that the HECU is getting the fuck out of the area, for no real reason. Regardless, Freeman continues onward, getting told by a regular sized scientist to deal with a “Gargantua” on the landing pad. Said “Gargantua” is nothing more than another T-Rex sized scientist, who is killed by Gordon and more soldiers. Descending down further into the building, Freeman does such things as administer coolant to the Lambda Reactor Core with the press of a simple button, for some reason.  Then Gordon stumbles upon a scene ripped straight from the original Half-Life. Following this, Freeman encounters a surreal room with four windows that each reveal a G-Man conversing with a regular sized scientist. Seems the G-Man learned to clone himself. Anyway, Freeman then enters a room that is opened for him by two scientists that looks very similar to the room with the large device that made that one scientist grow to dinosaur size. Being the stoic badass he is, Gordon enters the room with no qualms. However, after the machine apparently malfunctions, Freeman passes out. Waking up sometime later, it’s revealed that Gordon has grown to Kaiju size, and escapes the building via a giant hole in the wall. Abandoning his previous moral compass and all compassion, Gordon then goes on a rampage, squashing all the tiny HECU soldiers that are outside. Finding a giant crowbar, Freeman continues his path of destruction, trekking across the Nevada desert, until he comes across a worthy foe. That foe being another Kaiju sized scientist in the middle of a canyon. Gordon challenges the scientist to a brawl, and the useless giant labcoat just stands there, as Freeman beats the fucking hell out of him with his giant crowbar, with support fire from an HECU helicopter nearby. The huge scientist falls, and the mod ends with a screen congratulating Freeman on being “Frickin Huge”. Gordon Freeman then goes on to terrorize the countryside, and possibly having fights with other giant Kaiju with nothing but his wits and trusty giant crowbar to help him.

So yeah, Big Scientists is nothing but a joke mod. Not only that, but it’s a mod with only ONE joke. Some of the scientists are big, sometimes giant even. Still though, it was fun to play. The story is nonsensical, and while I said it was fun, it did feel a little TOO minimalist. In my opinion, if you have a concept that you think is worthy enough of making a mod with, run all the way with it. Really put effort into it and show you care. Gameplay wise, the mod did feel a little bland. Basically the entire damn thing you just stand there and shoot at giant scientists, with them not even trying to fight back because, well, they’re scientists. Not only that, but killing the scientists is a bit tricky, since the developer did increase their size, but not their hitboxes. This means you have to aim for their feet/lower legs if you even want to think about damaging them. The available arsenal is minimal to say the least, and the general length of this mod is pitifully short. Overall, Big Scientists is a mod where you might get a little chuckle at the very most, and while it does have little effort put into it, you have to at least say it’s the only mod where you can shoot an elephant-sized scientist in the balls. 

And with that, Big Scientists gets 2 Kaiju-sized scientists out of 5. Thank you all for reading, I’ve been Killbuster, and remember, if you ever plan on becoming Kaiju sized and terrorizing the world, make sure to stop off in Japan. I hear Godzilla needs a roommate.

Here is a link to this mod’s ModDB page, so you too can have the chance to slaughter giant scientists as they innocently scream in terror and flail about.

Don’t forget to post a comment on this webzone, share this page and follow me on Google+ and Twitter for more reviews of Goldsrc and Sourcemods here on Modzone! Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go. Gamera wants me over for tea in like 15 minutes.

Oh and I almost forgot, if you want to contact me, or play games, or just whatever here’s a link to my Steam account. If I don’t answer your friend request right away, don’t worry. Blinky will get to it, as soon as he stops using my cupboards as a cave anyway.

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